I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
