I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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