just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
