On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
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