i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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