Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
