Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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