If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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