They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Randomize
