bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize
