its not stalking. its research.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
