girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
