I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
