There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
