I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
