where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
