I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
