I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Even my vagina gasped.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
