Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
