She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Randomize
