Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
