I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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