Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
