I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
