Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
