I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
