your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Me too!
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Someone signed my nipple.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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