actually, I'm a sock model
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Randomize
