she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
