Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
