I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
