Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
She bit a glass in half.
they're like a gay fantastic four
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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