hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
