Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Randomize
