you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Vodka?
Forever.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
