Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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