ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
