I'm lost and stupid without you.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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