all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Let's get the cat blown out
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
