i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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