Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Randomize
