dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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