just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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