Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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