just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
