Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
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