it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Do vagina's smell?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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