my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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