just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
