Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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